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Kicking Around KungFu Style in Guangzhou

Hey Hey and a Big G'Day toya,

Ok people we have to finally get one thing straight. I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you a million, billion, trillion times. When I take you to one of Guangzhou's (Cantons) most popular and famous parks; For Gawds sake.....Do not Spit, Litter or Piss Around (see photo). But you don't believe me and laugh at me, It's right there in Engrish and black and white'

DO NOT LITTER, SPIT OR PISS AROUND!

Why you always gotta go and piss around? So do you want to know what I reckon?

I reckon and know that Mao Zedong (Chairman Mao) did start off as a good man, in fact a handsome and genuine really, really good and caring man. He searched, questioned, pondered, lectured and scratched his matches in deep thought about what was best for his countries future and then went about walking, fighting, shooting and scheming for a few years but then allowed futures time to tell its Demon Tail.

I reckon that I have seen some more amazingly Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Hakka Peoples architecture from fortresses too spirally wirily Taoist villages that when given a chance still continue to give present days 'we don't give a fark about anything’ Feng Shui a super human kick in the arse!

I reckon that during this year’s Summer Beers N Noodles Adventure I met several extremely beautiful maids that made my bed with precision and precise and then messed them all up again and re-made them with precise and precision. BBQ, rice wine and beer I did share with them, non existence in your day is how you not seem them....unless you actually do go about to see them. Maids that make, made this year’s rainy adventure totally bearable because they liked to play .... you know...UNO, the card game!

Get your mind out of the gutter you dirty little buggers!

I reckon that being back in Guangzhou is amazing as it is my favourite city in the entire world. Canton my friend is your friend as she offers you an unlimited supply of snacks, food, extraordinarily beautiful girls, wonderful people and green spaces. Also walking along side the Pearl River as always is a refreshing memory of being back home. You would know, doing the clickity clack of chop sticks with friends in one of the many Chinese Restaurants found in every town where people actually do think they are eating Chinese food.....NOT!...It’s Cantonese Food!

I reckon Guangzhou (Canton) is a super amazing grace! And that Metallica should put their redneck guns down and tour SnackAdelliA!

I reckon that it’s great that Mc Donald’s are now in the lingerie business (see photo) and that I can go in, shop and feel my way around and leave with a double cup size of choice that I feel the need to chow down on. I reckon that’s what Mc Donald’s should be all about... Panties and bra’s Ronald, fill them full of ice cream, gherkins, beef and cheese and I’m thinking you’d bring the world to its knees!

I reckon that due to the fact that I travel and walk so much that I also must smell so much and the fact is, I hate hand washing and there really should be more public laundries here in China. Sniff Sniff and due to the extremely limited supply, I need to make an appointment with my washing machine.

Do you know what I also reckon? As I sit in Guangzhou’s bus stations Mc Donald’s restaurant;

I reckon that I’m searching for the little girl that is usually juuuuuuuuuuuust over there and she usually has super squinty Chinese eyes. Like at the end of many of my Summer 'Beers N Noodles’ Adventure’s there are usually birthday parties happening and their cardboard birthday hats usually squash their eyes together making them Super Chinese and I reckon that is always really super cute!

I still reckon the above reminds me of when I am in class and when one of the MANY students who needs glasses puts their fingers to the end of their eyes and lift the skin, I reckon that makes them look Super Chinese and I still reckon that if we did that anywhere in Australia we would be taken to court.

I reckon that just like during all my Beers N Noodles Adventures that like every year in my hotel rooms each hotel has a bath but the plug hole still has a steel rod coming out of it so no one can put a plug in it, therefore not fill the bath. So I reckon that being in China that if anyone does step on the steel rod they still can't sue for compensation.

I reckon that's crazy! I reckon you want to know what I really really REALLY reckon! I reckon that's it mate, the 2013 'Summer Beers N Noodles Adventure’ is at its end.

I reckon I had a great time and visited some awesome places full of so much beauty and history. I reckon I met many beautiful girls and great people all whom helped me a lot and with whom I shared some great moments and I reckon most importantly, I drank some tasty beers and ate some delicious noodles!

I reckon more importantly than 'most importantly; Is the fact that I survived all my bus rides! I reckon 'Life Huh!' 'Go Figure!'

Beers N Noodles toya...shane ________________________________________________________________________

The Soundtrack to this entry was by Tori Amos The album was 'Little Earthquakes' ________________________________________________________________________

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Posted by eddakath 17:00 Archived in China

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