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Qingming 2 - Collective Gatherings at Wu Hou Tomb

Hey Hey and a Big G'Day toya,

Where do you go to get that Melbourne Show vibe in China?

You wait for the Qingming Festival and head to Uncle Marquis’s Tomb where you will be lucky if you find personal space enough to pick your nose and hock your Harries without mistakenly hitting the nearest Wu Wang next to you. Needless to say it was packed, full to the brim so don’t let another noodle in.

What did one Aussie shepherd say to the other? Mate, I reckon it’s time to bugger off and get the flock out of here!

Seriously, the annual Qingming Temple Festival was in full swing and families had come in droves to Mianxian town to visit the temple of Zhuge Liang (181AD – 243AD) and enjoy the sunshine. The herds were entertained by delicious dancers, all grazed on BBQ, noodles, rice and vegetables and played fun fair show games such as 'Throw the hoop on the packet of cigarettes and win them even if you are seven’ and ‘How many million people can we squeeze into one pagoda’. But it was the other family favourites such as ‘How many times can I blow my horn in one minute amongst the crowd’ along with ‘My kid can go to the toilet anywhere it likes even if it is seven’ that were the real crowd pleasers for the day.

When Brad, Mickey and I left Hanzhong we were actually expecting a peaceful day in the countryside but after arriving we were in a total bewilderment at what we found which in simple terms was (taken from the Oxford Mini Dictionary);

A shrewdness of apes, a murder of cows, a trip of dotterel, a busyness of ferrets, a charm of finches, a covert of coots, a bloat of hippopotami, a smack of jellyfish, a richesse of martens, a watch of nightingales, a stare of owls, a rookery of penguins, a troop of kangaroos, a string of racehorses, an unkindness of ravens, a hill of ruffs, a wisp of snipe, a murmuration of starlings, a pace of asses, a desert of lapwings, a exaltation of larks, a tiding of magpies, a labour of moles, a pod of seals, a trip of sheep, a destruction of wild cats, a knob of wildfowl, a company of wigeon, a turn of turtles, a knot of toads, a spring of teal, a rout of wolves, a decent of woodpeckers, a herd of wrens, a zeal of zebras, a rafter of turkeys, a gam of whales, a sloth of bears, a cete of badgers, an erst of bees, a obstinacy of buffalo, a glaring of cats, an army of caterpillars, a sounder of swine and even a freaking pandemonium of parrots!

People were everywhere and look as I might I still didn’t find the covey of partridges in the bloody Pair Tree! Mate, you seriously have to believe me, there were herds and swarms of locals and visitors by the shoal and bloody sounder!

(the following are my more realistic interpretations of the above collective names)

There was a bevy of beauties, a destruction of dumbasses, a flock of farkheads, a herd of hillbillies, troop of soldiers, skulk of skinheads, a band of head bangers, a dropping of disco, a fluther of dancers, a fling of fishermen, a parliament of facilitators, a flight of pilots, a span of shakers, a pride of Paddies, a wicker of whites, a bask of blacks, a yoke of yellow, a peep of Toms, a wedge of wackys, a cloud of hippies, a turn of DJ’s, a smack of synthpoppers, a murmuration of motowns, a gang of punks, a rafter of reggae, an unkindness of hip hop, a mute of gospel, a richesse of yuppies, a trip of cat walkers, a gaggle of hairdressers and a dole of bludgers.

There was even a run of Forrest Gumps, a walk of golfers, a knob of Tiger Woods, a rookery of police, a company of CEO’s, a smack of users, a bevy of alcoholics, a crash of drivers, a paddling of rowers, a bloat of fatties, a parade of transvestites, a tiding of seamen and sailors, a busyness of businessmen, a shrewdness of headmasters, a dropping of shepherds, a trip of backpackers, a safe of thieves, a piteousness of actors, a mob of gangsters, a kindle of lumberjacks, a host of Geisha’s, a bellowing of musicians, a clutch of mechanics, a pod of gardeners, a cry of mourners, a leap of born again Christians, a zeal of fanatics, a sounder of tenors, a drift of homeless, a drove of horsemen, a decent of skiers, a bunch of fruitarians, a spring of babies, a bale of shearers and a fall of parachutes.

Believe it or not amongst all of the above I found a chattering of elderly, a sloth of teenagers, a litter of garbage men, a fling of prostitutes, a tiding of housekeepers, a pride of mothers , a span of surveyors, a watch of guards, a rush of Japanese, a herd of Mongolians, a barren of Australians, a yoke of chicken farmers, a suit of politicians, a parcel of deliverymen, a cry of Argentineans, a pace of runners, a murder of meat eaters, a pride of graduates, a fall of presidents, a string prisoners, a run of toilet cleaners, a hover of patients, a covert of popes, a kit of Swedes, a stud of Bonds;

And most importantly of all a charm of Eddakaths…haha!

Who doesn’t love the ‘Collective Names’ that have been given to birds and animals over the past couple of centuries? One Saturday night instead of going to the pub with friends, grab a six pack, stay home, go to the back of your dictionary and spend your night trying to make sense of it all.

Strangely after the first couple of beers some of it actually does begin to make sense!

A stare or parliament of owls (think about it) and the one that makes the most sense to me would have to be ‘a rookery of rooks’. I got that one even before the first mouthful and began to wonder why our forefathers didn’t just continue on that pathway and give us names such as ‘a shell of turtles’, ‘a dile of crocodiles’ or ‘a pie of magpies’.

Sadly just when I was gathering my smarts and ready to call myself intelligent then came ‘a safe of ducks’ and ‘an army of caterpillars. Just like you I thought, shouldn’t it be an army of elephants and not a parade or herd’? That’s when I kind of went all Oxford on my own ass and decided to do a bit of changing so they made more sense to common people such as myself.

Anyhow I guess it is too late for us to question the why’s of such names so we should instead propose a public holiday in thanks to a man named Joseph Strutt for having nothing better to do way back in the day of 1801 when he sat down with his Beers N Noodles and compiled a list of the most stupid ‘collective’ names he could find from his library of dust covered books whilst surely giggling his butt off just as we are today.

If he wasn’t giggling then he was a man with a much too serious nature about him and he should have made the changes I have made just to keep himself amused. Also if he had of made the changes way back then we would never have known the difference as most of the above terms were rarely used even then….I wonder why!

Beers N Noodles toya…..shane PS: As usual, all photos can be found beneath the text. ___________________________________________________________

The soundtrack to this entry was by Ozzy Osbourne The albums were ‘Blizzard of Ozz & Diary of a Madman’ ____________________________________________________________

<u>The Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb & Temple</u>

Wu Hou Mausoleum is the tomb of Zhuge Liang (181AD &#8211; 243AD), a renowned statesman, strategist and diplomat in Chinese history. It is located at the foot of Ding Jun Mountain, four kilometers south of Mianxian County in Hanzhong city. In 234AD, during the last northern expedition battle with the general of the kingdom Wei, Sima Yi, Zhuge Liang died of exhaustion at Wuzhang Plain.

The tomb was built here to the wishes expressed in his Will following his death.

Zhuge Liang, also named Kong Ming, was born into an official family in Yinan County, Shandong Province. He was a famous statesman, ideologist and strategist during the Three Kingdoms Period (220AD -280AD). As the Cheng Xiang (an ancient term for prime minister) of the Kingdom of Shu, Zhuge Liang devoted his life to his monarch Liu Bei and helped him through many difficult situations.

With Zhuge Liang's assistance, Liu Bei appointed himself emperor in 221AD and Zhuge Liang was appointed as Cheng Xiang to preside over political affairs.

Following Liu Bei's death in 223AD, Zhuge Liang was entrusted with Liu Bei's son, Liu Chan. After Liu Shan succeeded his father, Zhuge Liang was authorised as Wuxiang Hou (a title of vassal who was given the land of Wuxiang (in current Hanzhong). Unfortunately, he failed to conquer any northern area and did not accomplish Liu Bei's goal of full unification. As a loyal chancellor, however, Zhuge Liang devoted all his efforts to realise Liu Bei's political ideal.

The mausoleum covers a total area of more than twenty four thousand square meters.

The annual temple fair, held during the Qingming festival, is the highlight of the year with thousands of tourists, many in traditional, regional clothing, all flocking to the mausoleum to pay their sincere respects to Wu Hou Zhuge.

<u>How to Get To & From </u>

The journey from Hanzhong to Mianxian takes around forty five minutes by bus and costs eight Yuan per person. The bus departs from the Hanzhong bus station across from KFC. From the small Mianxian bus station catch The Tomb Bus (No: 5 & 1.5 Yuan) across the river three kilometers to the tomb of Marquis Wu (10 Yuan to enter).

The second adventure for the day is the Marquis Wu Memorial Temple.

It now costs forty Yuan to enter and we caught a tuk tuk from the Tomb to the Temple which cost fifteen Yuan. At the end of the day we caught Bus No: 3 from the Temple back to the bus station. Buses to Hanzhong do pass by the temple but the two we saw pass by were completely full offering only standing room and I believe the last bus from Mianxian is around seven.

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure


Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Marquis Wuhou Memorial Tomb &#38;amp; Temple Adventure

Posted by eddakath 17:00 Archived in China

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